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Blame
“It’s your fault!”Words spat at me,Twisted mouth,Finger pointing:“It’s all your fault!” What’s my fault?Daring to exist?Being born?Being conceived?What is my fault? What’s my fault?That you go out?Drink too much?Throw things at us?Is that my fault? What’s my fault?Being a kidIn a lifeI didn’t choose?That’s not my fault. It’s yours.
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Binge Eating Disorder on the BBC: an open letter
Dear BBC, It was so wonderful that BED finally made it on to national TV this week. I am in awe of Lorren and Martha, who were brave enough to share their stories for the film. I am glad you chose Sarah, an expert with personal experience to speak, too, even if you did spell…
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I binged today. Here’s what I learned.
I say I’m in recovery from BED for a reason. It might be over four months since I last binged, I may be succeeding in my intuitive eating journey, but at times of stress, I still sometimes return to those thoughts and behaviours that sustained me since childhood. Today was one of those times. I…
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Have decades of eating my feelings down made me emotionally illiterate?
I grew up believing feelings were bad. I was told I was too emotional, oversensitive, that I needed not to take things so personally. So I stopped talking about feelings, and did my best not to have them. Bingeing became my go-to when I needed to put a lid on those pesky, unwanted emotions. The…
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A fortnight of fatphobia
These last couple of weeks the anti-ob***y rhetoric seems to have hit an all time high. First the UK Government announced it’s going to start weighing children in school. Then a group of dentists in New Zealand published a highly suspect study about their miraculous new device designed to keep fat peoples jaws’ closed. Both…
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My Lowest Point
Trigger Warning: suicidal thoughts There’s something happening at the moment which is bringing back painful memories. Triggering me, if you will. And as always when I’m struggling, I’m hoping writing it down will help. I’m aware it might not be helpful to some readers: if that might be you, please click away from this post…